Saturday, August 29, 2009

I'm too sad to come up with a title

I adopted a mantra when I entered into mommyhood: this is temporary. When BabyJaguar screams like a loon for an extended amount of time for reasons known only to him, I remind myself. This is temporary. When he feels compelled to stay up for an extended stretch in the middle of the night just to hang out, I remind myself. This is temporary. When BabyJaguar fights a nap with all his might even though it's the one thing he needs, I remind myself. This is temporary.

And, believe it or not, the mantra works. It makes a huge difference for me, keeping me relatively unphased in the tougher moments.

And in the good moments...oh, the good moments. It reminds me to cherish everything about him because he's changing and growing so quickly. The smiles he sends my way. They're like gold to me. When I watch him suck on his entire hand, knowing that in only a short time he'll have moved on to some other new skill. This is temporary. When he makes that weird Bill Cosby face in his sleep. When he works with all his might to turn over. When he raises his eyebrows as he "talks" to me. When he snuggles into me during our naps. When he tries to suck on my nose. This is temporary, this is temporary, this is temporary....

And now, as I try in some way to brace myself to return to work on Tuesday, the mantra, sadly, still rings true. This brief time at home with BabyJaguar, the most amazing vacation I've ever been on, it's all temporary.


kate said...

((hugs)) I'm so sorry sweetie. It's tough but not as hard as you're imagining (at least it wasn't for me.) You will be so happy to see your little one after that first day away it *almost* makes it worth it. Good luck.

Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry Jacki. I am still struggling through the going back to work thing. This weekend I had so much fun with my babies and today I do NOT want to go to work. Everyone tells me it gets better and it will be ok, so I have to trust they are right.

yes, it is great to see the babies when I get home and it does make my time with them more special. But damn it, I wish I could be home with them all day long. :(

Hang in there. You can always e-mail me if you need to! I'll be thinking about you.