Hope against hope

Dare I be so foolish as to hope? Unfortunately, yes. Against my wishes, I have become hopeful that maybe, just maybe, my period hasn't arrived because I am pregnant. As I await my period from the your-Clomid-cycle-is-not-really-a-bust-and-we-were-just-tricking-you-cycle, I am preparing for the news of a big fat negative, but that little voice in the back of my head (and my heart) is starting to whisper, "maybe". Bleh.....

I had previously (and obviously) ruled out all possibility of a positive pregnancy test when I didn't ovulate. Then I ruled it out once again when, upon learning that I did in fact ovulate, I remembered that I had killer sunburn and did not fool around with my husband as a result. However....I did have sex one time post-sunburn-on-thighs but pre-news-that-I-ovulated, so maybe........

The million dollar question is, when did I ovulate? Was it before or after that one time? I don't know. All I know is that I ovulated sometime between cycle days 21 and 32.

Am I feeling lucky?

No, not really.

I was supposed to go for my blood test this morning, cycle day 39. I bailed out. Tomorrow I will go and get my answer. On a sidenote, can I also say that I hate that it costs me $20 to get a negative result? It should be free unless you get a positive because you're already paying for the negative in tears.

P.S. I even peed on a stick (stop judging me!). I don't even know how many days post ovulation I actually am, but I wasted money to pee on a stick. I couldn't resist. I wonder if it's the same if you just pee on a regular stick like from the backyard. Then I could satisfy my need to pee on things while still being economical and not having to see that single, lonely, stupid line.