Thursday, June 26, 2008

Tit for tat...but with more tats

Lucky


Georgia (standing) and Katie


NeeNee (or Nia)

What I'm Currently Mourning:

1. That I won't conceive a child in the traditional sense of my husband and I having sex alone without help from strangers.
2. That I can't participate in the pregnancy and parenting conversations that all of my friends seem to be having. I'm simply a benchwarmer.
3. That I'm so often in it, in my head, thinking about my infertility.
4. That, although I'm open about my infertility and proud in the sense that I put a face on something that many people don't understand a lot about, sometimes I feel like it makes me that girl, the one that people whisper about how it's such a shame and how long have they been trying for now?

What I'm Currently Celebrating:
1. That I have my husband who makes me laugh every day and who I love more than I can put into words.
2. That, as much as it sometimes hurts me, most of my friends are currently pregnant or have little ones and all of them are healthy and doing well.
3. That I have my two cats and my two dogs (see above).
4. That I have good infertility coverage. Right now, this is a huge blessing for us.
5. That I have a wonderful family.
6. That we have our home. Granted, it's a huge fixer upper and it makes me feel really poor, but it's ours.
7. That I'm in a position to be able to pursue my Masters' degree.
8. That I have the TTC 6+ girls on the Nest. They validate, support, make me laugh and all around rock.
9. That my list of what I'm celebrating is longer than my list of what I'm mourning.

2 comments:

kate said...

I love this post. It made me happy and sad at the same time.

BTW, your Nia and my Zoe could be sisters. Same coloring, same orange patch on the chest. :)

Stephanie said...

I was going to say before I read the last thing to celebrate...your list of good things is longer than the liste of bad...and that is a GREAT thing! I love how you put in to words just what I'm feeling a lot of the time.

It was hard for me to come to terms with the whole IUI process too, not actually having sex to make a baby. (((hugs)))