Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The perks of late night nursing

I was up nursing around 4 a.m. this morning. Sometimes, if I'm very tired, I watch TV during the nighttime nursing in an effort to stay awake. So I'm flipping through the guide which seems to pretty much consist of paid programming at that time of day and I find one of my fav.or.ite things on: Quacker Factory on QVC.

Do you know what it is? It's freakin' awesome. It's a line of clothing that is do I capture it?....Florida AARP chic. And this woman Jeanne Bice, queen of all things sequined and appliqued, is usually on chatting about the items. Let me find a picture of Jeanne...

Does the headband give you an idea of why I love watching Quacker Factory? It's mesmerizing. I can't look away.

Sadly, Jeanne was not on the air this time which left me with an oddly empty feeling in my heart, but this was the first item being pitched: the Quacker Factory Seasonal Fiber Optic Cardigan for $34.12. It was glorious. A boxy red cardigan with an excessive variety of hearts, vines and flowers climbing up the front. And then, the host turned out the lights and it.lit.up. The wonders of technology. Get the phone!

One of my favorite things about QVC and any home shopping network for that matter is how the host has to talk about a particular item for an outrageously long amount of time. They inevitably start babbling. The two women on the air must have talked about the hideous sweater for at least ten minutes. They talk about the colors, the detail, the fiber opticness (obviously!) and then list the places and events where this sweater would be just perfect...."I wear this shirt to wear errands all through February and I get so many compliments! The mailman at my post office just loves it! He always makes me light it up for him." That's because you're the only person whose clothing involves batteries.

As I sit there astounded by how long a host can describe one item for, I also can't help but watch the ticker of how many have purchased the sweater. It's amazing! Hundreds of people can't live another minute without that fiber optic sweater! It was selling out in multiple sizes. Do you think that ticker is even real? I kind of wonder.

Anyway, if you're flipping through the channels and you see Quacker Factory, you should absolutely check it out, if only to see what headband Jeanne is wearing. I'm seriously considering DVRing it.

And as for that sweater, don't you worry lovely ladies of QVC. You had me at fiber optic. You had


amy said...

can't tell you how many interesting tv programs I watched at 4am. I personally love the litter box genie one myself.

Stephanie said...

Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! You seriously should have bought it, if only to have a reason to host an ugly sweater party this winter. ;)

Anonymous said...

Just like a train just can't look away. It's good to know that a twisted sense of humor runs in the family.