The perks of late night nursing

I was up nursing around 4 a.m. this morning. Sometimes, if I'm very tired, I watch TV during the nighttime nursing in an effort to stay awake. So I'm flipping through the guide which seems to pretty much consist of paid programming at that time of day and I find one of my fav.or.ite things on: Quacker Factory on QVC.

Do you know what it is? It's freakin' awesome. It's a line of clothing that is very....how do I capture it?....Florida AARP chic. And this woman Jeanne Bice, queen of all things sequined and appliqued, is usually on chatting about the items. Let me find a picture of Jeanne...





Does the headband give you an idea of why I love watching Quacker Factory? It's mesmerizing. I can't look away.

Sadly, Jeanne was not on the air this time which left me with an oddly empty feeling in my heart, but this was the first item being pitched: the Quacker Factory Seasonal Fiber Optic Cardigan for $34.12. It was glorious. A boxy red cardigan with an excessive variety of hearts, vines and flowers climbing up the front. And then, the host turned out the lights and it.lit.up. The wonders of technology. Get the phone!

One of my favorite things about QVC and any home shopping network for that matter is how the host has to talk about a particular item for an outrageously long amount of time. They inevitably start babbling. The two women on the air must have talked about the hideous sweater for at least ten minutes. They talk about the colors, the detail, the fiber opticness (obviously!) and then list the places and events where this sweater would be just perfect...."I wear this shirt to wear errands all through February and I get so many compliments! The mailman at my post office just loves it! He always makes me light it up for him." That's because you're the only person whose clothing involves batteries.

As I sit there astounded by how long a host can describe one item for, I also can't help but watch the ticker of how many have purchased the sweater. It's amazing! Hundreds of people can't live another minute without that fiber optic sweater! It was selling out in multiple sizes. Do you think that ticker is even real? I kind of wonder.

Anyway, if you're flipping through the channels and you see Quacker Factory, you should absolutely check it out, if only to see what headband Jeanne is wearing. I'm seriously considering DVRing it.

And as for that sweater, don't you worry lovely ladies of QVC. You had me at fiber optic. You had me.at.fiber.optic.

Update to the update of masters watch '09

DONE!

Update to masters watch '09

One paper done, next one is started....

Masters watch '09

I am slated to complete my final masters courses in seven days!!! I have two papers to go! However, in an effort to have five extra days with BabyJaguar classwork-free, I have begun the final paper first. This way, I will complete the paper that is due sooner last, being forced to finish all of my work by TOMORROW when the first paper is due at midnight! The finish line is in sight! I'm almost done one of the papers and then I've got one to go....

Right now, all I have left is bullsh!t reflection stuff. And if you're one of my professors who in some freakish scenario is infertile, stumbles upon my blog and figures out my true identity, then by "bullsh!t reflection stuff" what I really mean is "time to meaningfully look back on the knowledge and insight I have gained over these past eight extraordinary weeks stuff".

4th of July fail

So the 4th of July rolls around. The husband is running in my town's 4 mile race which is first thing in the morning, right before the parade. BabyJaguar and I had had a rough night. Technically, he had slept through the night making it just shy of six hours straight, but.....then he didn't go back to sleep. So we'd both been up since 4 a.m. If that's sleeping through the night, I say "no thank you". I'll take waking up every few hours over that any day. So I rush BabyJaguar and I to the parade, arriving at the last minute to meet up with friends. I was self-conscious of my outfit since I wasn't even a little patriotic but dismissed it thinking that people would let me slide since I'm a mom with a young baby, right? I didn't even have a super cute 4th outfit for BabyJaguar. Whatever, I got there and that's what matters, right? Right? Right?!

Wrong. My friend, Kristen, is there gloriously put together with her 6 month old daughter. Her baby is in an adorable stars and stripes outfit with matching bonnet. Mommy is in a cute red shirt, navy and white striped cardigan, perfectly fitted capris and red white and blue shoes.

Red white and blue shoes?!?! She even had on red white and blue shoes?!?!

Yes, red white and blue shoes. And you know what? They were stinking adorable. Navy with tiny white polka dots and red trim. The little ballet flat style but they're canvas sneakerish instead.

Man, I dropped the mommy ball. Look out for me next year. My son will be dressed as Uncle Sam, I'll be Betsy Ross, my stroller will look like an American flag and I'll have goddamn sparklers in my hair.

Freakin' red white and blue shoes....