Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Joys of motherhood....or not

Thus far there have been so many joys of motherhood that I can't even begin to describe....this is not one of them. This is one of those stories that is just so ridiculous that it crosses over to being pretty darn funny.

Yesterday was hot but I had forgotten to turn the air on and then decided I would wait until the evening to put it on. Ben woke up from his nap seeming a bit warm so I decided to change him into just a onesie.

Change diaper. Change his outfit. Start nursing.

Ben starts pooping. Okay, that's normal. But then he's not stopping. Still pooping. Still pooping. Still pooping.

And my lap is wet. Okay, stop nursing (the boy is now not happy), take off my pants, take him to changing table, strip him down, clean up the outrageous amount of poo, lean over to throw out diaper.

It's raining on my arm. No, that would be pee. In the crazy poo clean up, I forgot to cover Ben up so now he's peeing in a big arc right out of the Pack-n-play.

Okey-dokey. Start cleaning up the pee, go to pick up Ben and the pee has puddled underneath him and he is soaked from his feet all the way up to his neck. Let's just take a bath. Pantless mommy bathes the boy, finally gets new diaper on him and gets another onesie. Back downstairs and finally get back to the nursing.

My husband comes home from work, questions my pantlessness and then tells me that his friend who is also our life insurance agent will be over in about twenty minutes because we have to sign some forms. I finish up nursing in fifteen and get pants on just before agent friend arrives.

I like agent friend. He's a good guy. We all chat for a bit. Then Ben starts going bonkers rooting on my cheek and neck. Did I mention how much breastfeeding went on that day? A lot. Ben ate 16 times that day and gave me only ten to thirty minutes breaks in between. It was some kind of freak hunger day...maybe a growth spurt? So I throw on my nursing cover to start feeding him again and go to unbutton my henley style shirt.

Only it's already unbuttoned.

To below my breasts.

And has been the whole time I've been sitting here chatting with agent friend.

Good times.

Hey, at least I remembered pants.


Searching for Serenity said...

You got me! That story is definitely blogworthy. You won't want to forget it.

Thanks for the laugh. I hope all is going well and Ben is growing at a rapid pace.

Serendipite said...

This made me giggle ;o)

Allison said...

Hahaha. Oh the joys of motherhood.

Kelly said...

And at no point Joe thought to tell you that you were flashing agent friend?!?!? Minus fifty points for him...

Stephanie said...

Oh my gosh Jacki, I am sitting here laughing so hard out loud right now! I have had so many crazy days like that with these two. I don't think I've shown my boobs to anyone yet though LOL! You are too funny! And yes, at least you remembered the pants!