Bad Mommy

I have been such a slacker with pictures. It's not that I don't take them. I take lots. It's just that I don't do anything with them after I take them. So, in an effort to catch up, let's celebrate birthdays.

O months

The wobbly flailing phase

Got a decent pic later that night

Your camera bores me....

This is also the moment we realized he could sit up on his own without support! Surprise!

This pic had to be taken a billion times. He was all over the place! Also, he loves Sock Monkey so it was hard to get a shot of either one of them sitting still.

His seven month birthday is in just a few days...let's see if I can get my act together and post the pic in a timely fashion.

Sitter #2, I heart you

So, after our douchey babysitter quit, we opted to go with the sitter who watches up to seven children at once, despite my anxiety over the many cooties BabyJaguar would catch (and he has, we're now on illness #3 since my return to work). And you know what? He.loves.it.there.

He loves being around all the kids. I am now considered quite boring in BabyJaguar's eyes as there is only one of me. I in no way can compete with the several tiny tots and bushels of toys that are at Nancy's house. It's true. And I'm okay with it. In fact, I'm happy about it because I know he's happy and well cared for.

And Super Sitter Nancy? She's great. Nancy's one of those people who is just meant to care for young children. She's so laidback and you can tell she enjoys the kids. Nancy took the time to talk with me on the phone, meet me in person and then meet BabyJaguar in person, too. And she was really sensitive to my concerns about how many children were there. She let me bring my own Pack'n'Play that is just for BabyJaguar where the other kids who are older share them. And Nancy always encourages me to call and check in whenever I want and she's just warm and fuzzy and lovey and all the things you want in a sitter.

She's so good that, sometimes, when I drop BabyJaguar off in the morning, I feel grossly inadequate as a mom as I watch her deftly care for four or five little ones at once and I, meanwhile, didn't manage to eat breakfast while just caring for my one, quite easygoing kid. But that's a good thing, too. It means my kid's in the right place.

The other thing that makes me really happy is that he's being raised in a home by a good family. Nancy has three children, all in their twenties, and when she's having a hectic day, they help out. Her own children are so nice and just naturals at caring for kids. I came in the one day to her twenty something son feeding one of the babies a bottle and just cooing away at the little guy, laughing and talking with him the whole time. It was adorable.

You know when you meet someone and they just immediately give off the "good people" vibe? That's what it is. They're a family of good people. Sure, we've had hiccups along the way: bibs that are MIA, a puppy eating a teething ring and that one time we realized another kid was drinking BabyJaguar's bottle of breastmilk, but the bottom line is, they're just hiccups. Those things are all small when I know that he's cared for by someone who truly cares about him.

I think Douchey Sitter #1 came into my life for a reason...to let me know when a really great sitter came along. If BabyJaguar had started off in Nancy's care from the beginning, I would've just thought that this is what all sitters are like. I wouldn't have known how special she is and how lucky I am that she came into my life. So, I guess I have to thank you, Douchey Sitter #1, for showing me what sucky daycare is really like. Your gross inadequacy at showing my child affection and attention is much appreciated.

And, as for you, Nancy, well, I big pink puffy heart you.

Aquaphor, I love you

I didn't know about Aquaphor until I became a mom. I had heard of it, but just thought it was a super overpriced hand lotion. But, oh no, it's so much more than that and it's worth every penny.

I didn't know until my pedi told me that I'm not supposed to put baby lotion on babies when they're young...which seems like the perfect time to put it on them being as it is called baby lotion. You're not really supposed to put much of anything on them, except clothes and diaper rash cream. And Aquaphor.

Aquaphor is the duct tape of the baby world. It can be put on scratches resulting from little baby fingernails, irritated neck creases, diaper rash, minor skin irritations and dry patches. And it's awesome on my super dry hands from washing 7,412 times a day and sanitizing them 1,893 times per day.

Elmo's gone rogue

Somewhere in Cincinnati, there is the Pampers headquarters.
And somewhere in the Pampers headquarters, there is the design department.
And somewhere in the design department, there is a 21 year old guy.
And he is laughing at me.

Here's why:
BabyJaguar, being the husky little beast that he is, has been in the size 3 Pampers for a while now. And the size 3s present a new challenge. Rogue Elmo. I previously referred to him as Wandering Elmo but, as time goes on, I find him to be more menacing hence the name change.

There is where the 21 year old guy comes into the picture. He's clearly new to the job, has no children of his own and likes to stir up trouble. Because he has made the decision that on some of the size 3s, Elmo will be on the front. And on others, the back. Elmo now shows up in different places and different sizes just to mess with me.

How do I know he's a 21 year, childless man? Because no mother in her right mind would start screwing around with new, exhausted moms in the middle of the night who are changing their children in the semi-dark by placing Rogue Elmo in different places all over the diaper. This is exactly how new, exhausted moms put their children in diapers backwards.

Damn you, Elmo. Damn you.

And 21 year old, childless, new guy. I will find you. One day....I will find you.

Looking back

This is from his first days on the outside. He really doesn't even do anything in the video but it's one of my favorites. I love this kid.

Continuing....

with my previous post. This picture of sick baby and caring momma is grossly inaccurate for several reasons. Let's investigate...

• This baby appears peaceful. Sick BabyJaguar was not a peaceful child. Sleeping was work for him because he was so stuffed up.
• This baby does not have his mouth wide open to help him breathe because he sounds like a little mini-Darth Vader.
• This baby does not have bodily fluids leaking from every hole on his face, including his eyes because why wouldn't a horrible cold have to include pinkeye as well?
• Either the momma has really great skin or she's wearing makeup. I vote that she's wearing makeup. No part of my days with a sick baby included makeup. This included any visits to the pediatrician. And the dark circle under my eyes from too little sleep looked hot with no cover up on.
• And finally, this momma doesn't have vomit in her hair that's been there since the wee hours of Saturday morning and, oh my God, it's now Sunday afternoon and I still haven't showered because I've been taking care of BabyJaguar. Where's her vomity, crunchy hair?

See what I mean? Inacurate picture, grossly inacurate.

Sick

I was reading an article today about colds, flu and swine flu in babies. According to this article's photographs, this is a momma and baby when baby is sick:

I would like to take a moment to say that this photo is complete bull. I can speak from experience on this one as we are now on cold #2. I do not look anything like said woman nor does my son look said baby. Let's discuss the reality of sick babies in bullet form:

Wait, I can't. The baby just woke up. I'm not even kidding...